It’s been a while since I’ve laughed and smiled the way I did today. It’s quite relieving yet foreign at the same time.  

As if I am Icarus flying too close to the sun. 

I believe that every now and then, it would be a good thing for me to do a self reflection and to see where my life has progressed or slowed down throughout the months.

I feel that ever since I began pledging, my life has progressed at an exponential rate, far faster than what I could have ever imagined. I have met countless people, many of whom I don’t remember or who I have built an immediate connection with. I met my big and a few other exceptional people that I look up to. 

It has challenged my life significantly. Through work, business, school, friends, relationship, all these factors have been pushed to their limits. I believe that I have grown stronger, more independent, confident, and I developed skills that I never knew could have ever coexisted in my life.

I have been to the breaking point, time and again. Stressed out every day, hardly sleeping, always tired and hungry. I know that I lack the time to do what I used to do. Time is a really difficult thing for me at the moment, so for me to be wasteful on how I allocate my time frustrates me, especially when it could be spent more wisely. Despite what experiences that I have journeyed through, I really wish I had a lot of the support from the people I spend the most time with. 

This is the choice that I have made. This is the life I chose to live. I know that times can be stressful, yet in the end, the reward is more than just being an organization that helps the community, but to build those connections, those memories that can never be replicated. 

I try to live life with no regrets because I believe that things happen for a reason. If I regretted everything in life, I would not be where I am today. I know that I made the right decision to pledge. I would not have imagined my life any other way. I am thankful for a busy schedule for it keeps me on top of my game. I am thankful for the people who I have let in my life. I am thankful that I made such a big change in my life, one that created a rift in my stable and routine lifestyle, for that is what really opened my eyes. 

I know I have a lot to think about when I finish pledging and upon graduation. I know I have many options in regards to my future and career. I know that my youth is fleeting and I must take advantage of it with two hands. 

I thought I would be okay, but I suppose I am not. 

NEW macaron at work! Chocolate passionfruit. #sofancy #sweettoothconfections #macaron #macaroon #chocolatepassionfruit @sweettoothconfectionsbakery

NEW macaron at work! Chocolate passionfruit. #sofancy #sweettoothconfections #macaron #macaroon #chocolatepassionfruit @sweettoothconfectionsbakery

sweettoothconfections macaron chocolatepassionfruit macaroon sofancy

My bae is finally back in my arms! After so many weeks of being in the shop, I am so Happy that you’re back in my life! 💚 I missed you oliver! And although I may have you for a temporary time again, I’m glad I got you back in time for spring break. Olive juice! 💚🍸. Also, thank you bbz for helping me get temp rims. You go above and beyond the role of being a boyfriend. @fancyass_bippuprius #s2k #s2000 #oliver #mybae #strongestselfiegame #honda #s2ki #s2baker

My bae is finally back in my arms! After so many weeks of being in the shop, I am so Happy that you’re back in my life! 💚 I missed you oliver! And although I may have you for a temporary time again, I’m glad I got you back in time for spring break. Olive juice! 💚🍸. Also, thank you bbz for helping me get temp rims. You go above and beyond the role of being a boyfriend. @fancyass_bippuprius #s2k #s2000 #oliver #mybae #strongestselfiegame #honda #s2ki #s2baker

s2baker strongestselfiegame oliver s2k honda s2ki mybae s2000

For those of you who don’t know, this guy right here is my BIG! I’m really glad I had the chance to interview you and to get to know you. I’m also really thankful that you are my big! I hope I don’t disappoint you and continue the line next semester! You seriously are the biggest troll in the world tho, but despite the stress I’ve gone through last week, having you as my big makes up for the lack of candy on my candy board!! I’m glad to be in the friendly fam! 😬 everyone, the gangsta @kennnho #friendlyaswhat #bigsiblingreveal #alphaphiomega #bigbro #gangsta #latepost #funnylaugh @kevinmlowespring14

For those of you who don’t know, this guy right here is my BIG! I’m really glad I had the chance to interview you and to get to know you. I’m also really thankful that you are my big! I hope I don’t disappoint you and continue the line next semester! You seriously are the biggest troll in the world tho, but despite the stress I’ve gone through last week, having you as my big makes up for the lack of candy on my candy board!! I’m glad to be in the friendly fam! 😬 everyone, the gangsta @kennnho #friendlyaswhat #bigsiblingreveal #alphaphiomega #bigbro #gangsta #latepost #funnylaugh @kevinmlowespring14

latepost bigsiblingreveal funnylaugh alphaphiomega friendlyaswhat gangsta bigbro

Aww thank you big for the poster! 💗 nice handwriting by the way!!! Haha #apogb #bigsibling #frozen #singtome #olaf #kisses #clean

Aww thank you big for the poster! 💗 nice handwriting by the way!!! Haha #apogb #bigsibling #frozen #singtome #olaf #kisses #clean

olaf apogb kisses singtome frozen clean bigsibling

I really needed you this week. 😕. Come home to me oliver! 💔 #oliver #olivejuice #almostdone #neednewrims #solonely

I really needed you this week. 😕. Come home to me oliver! 💔 #oliver #olivejuice #almostdone #neednewrims #solonely

neednewrims oliver almostdone olivejuice solonely

AHH I’m super excited for BSR! I wonder who my big will be! Qualifications for my big are as follows:
- Older than me
- Guy
- Someone I know/have talked to

The clues point to a girl but I highly doubt I have a girl as my big. Mama slipped and said that my big is a “he”. I think I’d be highly disappointed if I did get a girl though, just because it wouldn’t be someone that I expect. 

I have a feeling on who it is, but I can’t place all bets on that one person. My number 1 choice is DEFINITELY not my big, which was really disappointing when I found out. Everyone says that I’ll like my big and we’ll get along well together but if its someone I don’t know then I don’t think I’d be as comfortable getting close to them. 

Stressful week.. I will probably take a mark for failing my quiz tomorrow. I really hope I sleep by 3 tonight.. :P